The Medallion

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23 Things that Non-Swimmers Need to Stop Saying to Actual Swimmers

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1-“You need to kick more in breaststroke.”

In breaststroke you have a rhythm and you can’t go that fast all the time. So please, don’t tell me how to swim.
2-“I never see you, you’re always at practice.”

There are two answers to this question. One, I never have time because I’m either training at the gym or in the water. Two, I try to swim as much as I can so I don’t have to see you.
3-“Why can’t you run?”
I actually don’t really know the answer to this question but I know a lot of swimmers and none of them, like me, can run.
4-“Ewww! You smell like chlorine!”
I’m sorry that I woke up at 4:20, went to practice and got out at 6:30, and went straight to school after I got dressed in the nasty public locker rooms because my school is 30 minutes away from the pool that I swim at during the school year. I apologize that you don’t like my perfume, but I love it.
5-“Swimming isn’t a real sport.”
I hate this. I have been swimming since I was 3 and competitively for 5 years. I wake up four days a week during the school year at 4:20 and every day during the summer. If you still don’t think this is a sport, please try it for a week.

6-“Yeah, I’m a swimmer; I swim over the summer.”
Just because you do a club swim team over the summer doesn’t mean you’re a “swimmer”. I mean, good for you for doing it over the summer where it is supposed to be relaxing, but please don’t call yourself a competitive swimmer.
7-“You’re rich because you spend a lot of money on pointless suits.”
These suits cost from $400-$600. I will be honest with you, I own two myself. These suits do make you faster.

8-“Well if you were an actual swimmer you would have a six-pack.”
To be honest a lot of swimmers do have a six pack, but not all. To swim you do use your core but everyone swims differently. I mostly use my arms and my friend that I’ve been swimming with for eight years uses her legs the most. Some just want a six pack so badly they use their core for everything.
9-“Let’s race!”
I almost guarantee you that I will whoop your butt if you put me in a pool next to you. I could have slept one hour the previous night, but any real swimmer could still beat another athlete that isn’t focused on swim.
10-“Why doesn’t a cap keep your hair dry?”
First of all your ears make little pockets so water can get through, and two, we are usually submerged under the water for most of the race or practice so it would be impossible for water not to get through.
11-“What’s your time?”
I will say my time and they will look at me for a second and move their finger back and forth like they were swimming in a lane and respond with that seems slow. Not really, I want to see you try to do that and then tell me it is slow after.
12-“Are you as fast as Michael Phelps?”
If I was, I am 100% positive I wouldn’t be here talking to you in this gross community pool.
13-“Why do you have to shave before meets?”
This is something that I’m surprised about when people ask me this. Of course we shave because little hairs can slow you down by as much as .5 tenths of a second. That may not seem like much but trust me, it is.

14-“Omg! I woke up at 9:00 this morning!”
On numbers 4 & 5 I was talking about how I got up at 4:20. I think that explains this one enough.
15-“You’re still swimming! When is your off season?”
What’s an off season?
16-“Do you know who Michael Phelps is? Because I do.”
No, I don’t know who he is because I’m a swimmer and of course I never watched the Olympics because if I did that would make no sense. Also, I’ve never seen the cover or read Splash magazine because I totally don’t have a subscription. Really guys? Use your brain.
17-“Did you win your meet?”
I answer this question by saying that yes my team won the meet. I physically can’t win the meet by myself. When I tell them that they keep insisting I can answer this question.
18-“Swimming must be fun because you never sweat!”
That’s a plus to the sport but you do get cold and wet. You feel sticky and the chlorine feels like a seal over your skin. But not sweating is fun!

19-“Ewww your hair is so gross and dead!”
Thank you for pointing out the obvious. Yes, my hair feels fried and the smell of chlorine is permanently in it. You know, thanks again for telling me that because I didn’t realize that before.
20-“Are you really going to eat all of that?”
Yes, I just got back from practice so yeah. Watch me eat this whole pizza.
21-“Wow, you actually look nice today”
Oh really? Thanks! I love looking like an athlete. Primping after a morning practice isn’t generally my first priority. Sorry, not sorry.
22-“Can’t you just skip practice?”
Well if I skip practice then I can’t go to the meet I have this weekend and that’s the best thing I do in swim, compete.
23-“Why do you nap so much?”
Because I’m tired and I just want to relax after practice. Swim isn’t my only sport, you know.

1 Comment

One Response to “23 Things that Non-Swimmers Need to Stop Saying to Actual Swimmers”

  1. Steve on August 24th, 2016 5:17 pm

    As someone who views swimming as a great alternative to drowning, I’m taking notes. Anyone who dedicates themselves to a pursuit shared by few of their other friends can probably relate to this, and write their own lists. (I get “You spent $1000 on a bike? You must be a pro!” and “Why do you need more than one bike?”) With swimming, I guess you have to cope with it also being such a familiar thing that people who don’t understand think they do. Keep your head up…or down, whatever is appropriate for swimming, and thanks for sharing.

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23 Things that Non-Swimmers Need to Stop Saying to Actual Swimmers